James Bond Was a Lesbian

Santa Claus is Gay

Saint Valentine is Non Monogamous!

In a bout of inspiration, some strange nights when I had no sleep, I wrote and produced three silly queer comedies, just to go against the stereotypes of the heteronormative society with “irony”. James Bond Was a Lesbian, Santa Claus is Gay and Saint Valentine is Non Monogamous!

We played Santa Claus is Gay again, two years after the first time, I think, and there was a major uproar in the Greek media. This utterly stupid story started when a reporter with Espresso (a totally yellow press newspaper) called me and I said, “I’m too busy because I’m organizing a performance event, Santa Claus is Gay.” This call happened at 11.00 pm and the next morning I was woken up at 7.00 am by more phone calls – I had made the headlines on the morning and midday news and I was even on some front pages.

BLASPHEMY for daring to say that Santa Claus is gay.

But what did Santa Claus have to do with Saint Basil (the Greek equivalent of Santa Claus) of the Orthodox Church? Gregory Vallianatos came to my rescue as there was talk that the Greek Orthodox Church was about to press charges! My mother was screaming and my father was laughing and took me to the press conference that Gregory Vallianatos organized with all the TV networks!

(My father had also built the entire stage for the James Bond was a Lesbian play)


Santa Claus is Gay! (Stand up comedy) A comedy that sparked a major uproar in the media and the Church, leading to threats of a lawsuit. For this reason the play was staged after Christmas and New Year.

What you will read below is the press release that was sent out everywhere.

Maria and Xenia have been a couple for years. Maria believes that their relationship will be complete if they have a child and then go to Amsterdam to get married. It is Christmas 2001 and Maria decides to send an email to Santa Claus and beg him to make her a baby. Will Santa Claus fulfill Maria’s wish?

Script/Direction: Maria Cyber
Acting: Maria – Xenia – Konstantinos
Duration: 17 min
Athens- Gaze Club – December 23, 2000 Athens-
Tribal Booze – January 12, 2002

Santa Claus is Gay

Written last year in early December 2000 in London. At that time there were numerous references to the queer family. Gay and lesbian parents are both willing and able to raise their children, adopt children or acquire children via a sperm bank.

At the same time there were gay magazine covers featuring a black Santa Claus wearing only his cap or a white go-go boy in leather and Santa’s cap. There were also Christmas cards with season’s greetings and a hunk in the arms of Santa Claus who offered him as a present, and much more.

It’s November 2001 in Athens and against the backdrop of the gay family, the holiday season and the gay culture, the Church enters the scene. Santa Claus who comes down the chimney bringing presents, that nice chubby guy who comes from some place far away in the snowy North on a sleigh pulled by reindeer, who sometimes is an inflatable red doll dancing hula-hoop in the streets, a wind-up toy or even a live performer taking photos with children in Syntagma Square—and we have even seen Santa Claus as a stripper—well, that Santa was associated with St. Basil, the Santa Claus of the Greek Orthodox Church.

All of a sudden a Western cartoon is mixed up with the Orthodox Church and priests appear on all the TV networks sprouting hate about homosexuals and trying to prove that gays were God’s mistake and probably exist so that people have something to hate.

This gay subversive comedy comes to discover and meet our need for our own role models, our own culture. Once again we have seen how necessary and how different our own language is. How do we fit in a world that only creates white heterosexual role models?

If we were black we would imagine a black Santa. We are gay, so our Santa Claus is Gay!!!! Next year’s play could be “Santa Claus is trans, black and HIV positive”. These were just a few words about a major issue….

Dykefully Yours
Maria Cyber